Mini Post: THINX Period Panties for Modern Women

Sometimes you do something that you think is going to be THE BEST, CRAZIEST THING EVER, and it turns out to be not that exciting. Perhaps you try pad thai from Pok Pok and it’s good but like…it’s pad thai, yaduh it’s good. Or maybe you see Magic Mike XXL in theaters, and it’s a good time, but you kind of knew you would be watching Donald Glover shirtless going in to it so…yeah, solid experience. Expectations were met.

This is the case for when I tried THINX, Period Panties for Modern Women. When my glorious globe trotting cousin (second cousin thrice removed?) Lauren sent me a link to these puppies I was all HOLY MOLY THIS IS GOING TO SHOOT THIS BLOG TO THE TOP!! But it turns out, the experience was quite quiet.

Thus is born a Carly Come Lately first; the Mini Post. It’s a pretty self explanatory concept, so I’ll spare you the long winded description of the Mini Post before it becomes my usual Maxi Post (period humor y’all- get used to it).

Let me begin by saying that if you’re someone who is terrified of reading about periods- this article is not for you. But also, if you are one of those people, perhaps I am not for you, as I am in a state of menstruation roughly 25% of the time. Facts are facts!

THINX are basically underwear (the word “panties” is my kryptonite) you can wear when you’re on your period, and not have to worry about leaks. They are not meant to replace a tampon, or diva cup, or whatever period protection is your poison. They are simply meant as a back up.

They offer thongs (absorption capacity: 1/2 tampon), cheeky (1 tampon) and hip huggers (2 tampons) and all options are about $30 a pair. They unfortunately call them…UNDIES…on their site, which is quite possibly the only word worse than panties. That kind of language should be avoided when selling merchandise!


I ordered myself a pair of cheekies and attempted to not tell everyone I passed in the office how excited I was. They took a week or so to arrive…right on schedule. Continue reading


Candy Brows: Becoming a Classic Los Angeles Weirdo

Every once in a while, life deals you a perfect hand. My last Saturday evening seemed to do just that when all of my beautiful roommates decided to have an evening out. It was decided we would get gussied up like the gussies we are, and drink in the ultra hip experience that is Saturday night in Silverlake (Forbes’s 2012’s ‘Hippest Hipster Neighborhood’ [arguably the world’s least hip magazine and certainly the universe’s least hip year- YEAH I’M TALKING TO YOU, 2012]).

Why was this evening so much more fantastical than any other ol’ night in the life of a young Carly? It just happen to present the perfect opportunity to try out my week’s chosen fad: colorfully dyed eyebrows.


I’m sure some of you had noticed that eyebrows are in a hot spotlight right now, with young cats like Cara Devaahjashjahfkjhfd and the Kardashian Kult sporting full brows that would make Audrey jealous. It’s a beautiful time for beauty when anything “natural” is considered in, but it seemed such a fad was too easily obtainable to stay in the spotlight for long.audrey-hepburn-mark-shaw-3-520x559

Along comes colorfully dyed eyebrows, as if people were just TOO BORED to leave their big beautiful brows alone. And with brightly colored hair having a moment as well, it seemed only natural that people would find a way to marry the two together.

For the life of me I cannot figure out why this trend does not yet have some sexy name attached to it. It’s so sleek and cool and crazy! This is why I have taken it upon myself to give this trend the perfect name: Candy Brows.

Can I get a YAASSSSS for this amazing name?! I JUST thought of it right now! Sitting in my extravagantly over pillowed bed! Goodness, this week just keeps getting better and better!

If you’re like me, you crave all the edgy badassery of a hot pink head of hair with none of the peroxide. Commitment-phobes rejoice! You can achieve edgy as fuck colored eyebrows for mere hours at a time by using my very special technique. Unfortunately, this includes taking many many photos of myself.IMG_7134 Continue reading


Talon Nails: Scratching Out the Eyes of the Haters

Know what I think is the best kind of fad? The ones that turn your body into a weapon of mass destruction! The ones that bring new meaning to the term “Girl Power” (RIP Spice Girls)! And what could make a girl feel more powerful than gluing knives to her hands for a week? Before you say, “Carly, you crazy kook, that’s no trend!” I invite you to take a trip to my new best friend/nail stylist Lisa who helped me do just that.


Rendering of a situation in which Kim Kardashian turns into a majestic eagle in order to match her talons

It’s called Talon Nails folks, and it basically makes you look fierce in a more literal way than I could ever hope for.

Popularized by the darling of the nail community, Lana Del Rey, Talon Nails (or, more commonly called Stiletto Nails, or Kardashian Nails) are a trend of throwing on some fake nails and sharpening them to a point that would make Chritospher Walken’s character in Sleepy Hallow cringe.

People have been doing it since 2009, but popularity spiked in a major way since December 2014 (perhaps because RiRi and BB were seen rocking them late last year). In the celebrity world, various Fad Ass Bitches have sported Talons on the Instagrams and beyond (as if there was anything beyond the Instagrams).


This fad came to me by way of East Coast faddist correspondent, Caroline “Fayzer,” and I knew immediately that my hands would be sporting those bad boys within a matter of days. If nothing else, it would be a glorious homage to my ultimate middle school heartthrob, Edward Scissor Hands (I was a lonely child). I made an appointment with the cheapest nail salon within walking distance of my office and prepared for my transformation into a monster babe.

Continue reading


Padded Butt Underwear: America’s Answer to Female Body Issues

What is the best fad to start with? Something easy! Something accessible! Something I secretly have been dying to try regardless of whether I decided to write about it or not! Obviously, there was only one trend that would fulfill all of these criteria, “one fad to rule them all” if you will: padded butt underwear. What’s that you say, that padded butt underwear is the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard of? I beg to differ, have you heard of that TV show where they drop naked people into the jungle? Well, it exists, and padded butt underwear is far more useful!

Shall we first dive into what makes this strange, new under garment fad worthy? First of all, there is a playlist that keeps coming up on my Songza called “2014: The Year of The Booty”. That such words were ever strung together should be evidence enough!  Perhaps it was with Kim Kardashian’s butt’s rising stardom or perhaps with Nicki Minaj’s butt-filled record and accompanying performances that a larger than normal bottom has become all the rage. But with fame, comes rumors. Were these women faking their amazing assets (lolz- I’m hilarious) and if so, could we peasants do the same?! With the questions came the need and with the need came the products.

I’ve had my eye on this trend for some months now, looking on with forbidden jealousy at the women who took their flat asses into their own hands and slapped on some padding. As a woman of excessive curvage, my lack of a backside is just unfair!

Screen Shot 2014-12-29 at 3.55.52 PMLuckily, my blog came along, and with it a means to buy the most unlikely groupon ever (in the purple shown, of course). I swear they look just as good on me as they do on that malnourished mannequin. I decided to wear said garment on a day where I assume my ass is looked at the most, the bar I work at. Did I not tell you I work at a bar?! It’s very cool and resourceful of me, not to put words in your mouth! Anyhow, I work a day or two a week at a lovely pub where all sorts of creatures of the night (and day!) call their local haunt. While everyone there has always been an (almost) perfect gentleman, the place is loaded with mirrors and what kind of narcissist would I be if I didn’t check to make sure I was getting stared at every once in a while? So I put on my Booty Booster Padded Boy Shorts (for ladies) and my insanely flattering magic apron and set off for a big-butted adventure.

I thought I could get away with not having a before and after picture of my bod in this post, but it has become clear that the article really is not complete without this terrifying visual. Please try to focus as much as you can on the granite wall (perfectly in focus) instead of my awkward posing (blurry as it should be). Special thanks to my roommates Sara and Malika (get used to these shout outs- I am weirdly obsessed with my roommates) for being my backside photography benefactors and artists. Okie dokie, deep breaths, the picture is coming at you after this page break… Continue reading