“FullLips” Lip Enhancer: $25 I Could Have Spent on a Shot Glass

Ever find yourself in a social media hole and suddenly you wake up and have no idea how you got to the instagram you’ve found? We’ve all been there, and while usually when I awake from my daze I am on some exboyfriend of a current girlfriend of my exboyfriend’s page, last week I found myself on #FullLips.

Tracing back my steps, I realized I had been rifling through beauty regime instagrams for photos of Lip Contouring¬†and tumblr_nkqsdjMIAd1sodn3mo1_500on every single goddamn photo there was a #FullLips hashtag and this bizarre step with a strange red bottle cap…

Thus, I found myself deep in the depths of wishful thinking. It took me about 10 minutes to hastily buy the shit out of whatever these freaks were selling, which turned out to be the FullLips Lip Enhancer. I am not proud that I spent $25 on a piece of plastic, but, like all of my purchases, I remembered that Amazon Prime offers free returns (I have literally never taken advantage of this aspect of the service).

Perhaps, at this time, you are feeling like this is a strange way to start a post? What about this post is different? Why do you feel so weird about this?! I will venture to guess that it is because…I DID NOT BUY THIS PRODUCT WITH MY EYE ON THE BLOG. I know. I too am ashamed. I bought this thing with every intention of using it in secret for my own damned benefit.

Luckily for you, the outcome was too bizarre not to share with my dozen readers (yes, you! You are one of my dozen! ThankYouILoveYouIWillDoAnythingForYouIncludingATMILoveYouSoMuch!!!!).


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