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Cryotherapy: Flash Freezing Myself into Best Friendship (in a -260° Box)

I AM SO JIZZITY-JAZZED FOR JUNE!! You have no idea how many weirdo things have popped up on the faddist radar! This summer is going to be filled with Guy Fieri worthy foods, delightful feminist movements, and bizarre events I force my “friends” to go to. Who will reap the benefits? US. We will weed through this season’s insanity together.

I know what you’re wondering, will today’s trend get us “bathing suit ready”? Yes! But in this scenario, “bathing suit ready” refers to practicing freezing your ass off, being essentially naked, and generally horrified. Sounds like the beach to me!

Today’s fad is brought to you by one of my closest friends (literally, because we spent about 4 years living under the same roof), MaliMo. Since she is a fucking lady boss, she was casually working the Academy Awards’ red carpet when she saw a strange box that the stars kept going in and out.

She inquired as to WHAT WAS IN THE BOX and found out that it was a popular treatment among the rich and famous, Cryotherapy. Essentially, it’s a human sized chamber that gets down to -250° F and promises eternal youth.

I was sold. BUT CARLY, THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS, SHOULDN’T YOU DO ANY RESEARCH WHATSOEVER BEFORE YOU SUBJECT YOURSELF TO THIS TORTURE?! Nah, I’ll figure it out, thanks bb! Continue reading