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Sensory Deprivation Tanks: A Solitary Confinement Quickie

Hi cuties. Happy HALLOWEEN MONTH! In honor of the year’s spookiest season, I decided to give you the gift of a fad that is perhaps (get out your finger wags, Hyperbole Police) the scariest thing you could ever do: sitting with your own thoughts for 2 hours.No-Thank-You-Please

My BRILLIANT, STUPID, GORGEOUS, SADISTIC coworkers Sara “LOLWONTTHISBEFUN4U” H. and Rob “GETHIGHOFFYOUROWNSUPPLY” K. brought to my attention the mysterious nature of this fad. While it has been around for quite some time, I thought it was bizarrobatman enough to try in 2015.

Pardon me! I’ve not yet told you the name of the long time trend! But, in my defense, it is in the title. You so lazy, friendo! It’s called Sensory Deprivation Therapy, a type of treatment you can find inside of a Sensory Deprivation Tank.

Essentially, people have been paying money to be put inside of a dark tank for a few hours without human contact. It is supposed to clear your head with its terrifying brand of meditation.

The tank is filled with a shallow pool of heavily salted water, and completely isolated to block out all light and sound. The water is supposed to create a feeling of weightlessness. The tanks tend to be tall enough for tall chicks to stand in, and big enough to for curvy chicks to float around in. AKA, big enough.

So there you are, in a completely dark, completely quiet pool of warm liquid you cannot see, floating without any podcasts to listen to for 2 hours.

At first I thought “I’d rather be dead” but then I realized this could be a great time to hang out with the coolest babe I know and practice jokes and sweet nothings. Who knows, I could even emerge from my coffin a new woman.

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