Can we just talk about the elephant in the room? I KNOW I haven’t written to you, my dear Faddists, in many moons. Stop hassling me about it! I was moving, OK?! I got v v busy, guys!! What’s that? Nobody cared? I’m sorry, did you say that if I hadn’t mentioned it, you wouldn’t have noticed? Well, shit. Forget I said anything.
Know what else I haven’t done in a while and probably shouldn’t be mentioning? Worked out. I have truly let myself go. Wait, does walking count? Nope. So, yeah, I haven’t been doing that. Which means there is a whole world of emerging weirdo fitness fads that I haven’t been privy to!
I knew just where to begin my search for bizarre crazes: the Crunch Gym website.
Have you ever seen on of those gym’s schedules? They are insane! They have a class where a comedian makes you laugh during a cardio workout!! I KNOW! It sounds amazing!! Sadly, they only have it at like 11AM on Tuesday’s in Burbank, so, no.
They have ariel yoga! But, my grandma probably does ariel yoga by this point.
They have a class which uses drumming and weighed drum sticks as it’s soul fitness regime! Hysterical! Just as I was about to sign on for this rock star wannabe nonsense…I saw a word. A word that may not have caught my eye right away; but once I saw it, I knew my search had come to an end…Broga®.
What was this magical word? Why did it have a fancy ® after it? Why did saying it make me want to wear pastel shorts and topsiders without socks?
A quick google search demystified the trend- showing it’s slow climb to fitness fadom starting in 2007. Apparently, some Big Dawg named Robert Sidoti who ACTUALLY bodes from Martha’s Vineyard (my topsider spidey sense has never led me wrong) decided that it was soooOOoooOoo unfair that men just DIDN’T have enough exercises to do where they could swoll out among their own kind!
Life is hard, Robert.
So Sidiot creates an exercise to bring men back to the mat. You may find yourself saying, “oh, I didn’t know men weren’t welcome at yoga” to which almost everyone in the world would respond “yeah…that is not a thing.” Perhaps we should take down the “GRLZ ONLY” sings from above our ashrams? Sorry for leaving you out, guyz.
OK so now that I have set the tone of the ridiculousness of men demanding more rights to exercise away from the terrors of the female gaze- imagine my excitement when I realized that the only gym in my area that offered this class was perhaps the most male centric: The West Hollywood Crunch Gym.